089. White Noise -- Cosmos -- Rating PG

089. White Noise -- Cosmos -- Rating PG

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

Cosmos found quickly how much he enjoyed Earth music, it was something to break up the constant white noise of the empty radio signals.  He enjoyed the white noise as well of course. After so long working monitoring channels he found he couldn’t recharge without listening to white noise over his comm. From talking with Jazz he found many mechs and humans were like that, they found the sound relaxing.

White noise, background sound.

He supposed he was like white noise in a way, in the background and not often heard. He was ok with that though--most of the time as he did have his depressed and dark days. Days when he wondered why he came out of recharge at all, times when he longed for contact with someone, anyone.

Soon enough though, there would be a meter shower to dance through or a truck traveling a lonely highway at night that he couldn’t resist and he would start feeling better again.

White noise helped other relax, and if the was white noise then he was helping others. By monitoring signals and reporting his findings he was keeping the others safe so they could relax.

Most days he really liked being like white noise, and the days that he didn’t, he didn’t like to think about anyway.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

075. Kisses -- Cosmos -- Rating PG

075. Kisses -- Cosmos -- Rating PG
(Kind of goes off on a tangent and could equally be for Jealousy or Nightmare, but it did start with kissing so it still counts ^^;)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cosmos wasn’t jealous of many things. He didn’t see the point in being jealous but there was one thing that always made him jealous.

Blaster chuckled and kissed Jazz playfully. Cosmos watched the pair from across the recroom. He wasn’t jealous of Jazz or Blaster specifically, wasn’t even really jealous of their relationship.

He was jealous of their ability to kiss.

He fingered his mask gently as he waited for his hose to finish vacuuming up the energon from his ration. He didn’t have lips. He did have a pseudo-mouth, incase his vacuum line failed or he wanted to refuel very quickly, but no lips or glossia. 

Sometimes he considered going to Ratchet and asking for him to give him the necessary  components to kiss, but then he would stop himself. They were in the middle of a war, it was a frivolous thing to waste resources on during a war.

Maybe after the war was over he would ask, or after he found a mech that wanted to kiss him.

He adverted his optics to the table top as Blaster and Jazz started kissing more passionately. There were many types of kisses, comforting, passionate, sweet, shy. So very many types he wouldn’t ever know, or at least wouldn’t know anytime soon.

Later in his quarters he removed his mask an touched the small slit that was his pseudo-mouth. With a lot of work he could shape it into something that kind of looked like a smile.

Replacing his mask he nodded to his reflection. Someday when resources were better. Until then he just had to remember he was perfect just as he was.

Climbing onto his berth he cycled down into recharge.
--

In his recharge his dreamed. He dreamed that he had lips and a mech who he couldn’t really see was kissing him passionately. He kissed back desperately, his entire being vibrating with pleasure at the sensations.

It was a beautiful recharge dream and then suddenly that changed. The mech who was kissing him, he knew intuitively the mech was his spark mate, pulled back and made a face of utter revulsion.

Cosmos panicked and raised a servo to his face, his lips were gone and his pseudo-mouth was back. He kept a servo over his face and reached out towards his spark mate desperately. He could explain, he could fix it!

His spark mate just shook his head and backed away disappearing into the darkness.

Cosmos knew this had to be a bad purge, his real spark mate wouldn’t just leave him! He fell to his knees and gazed into his reflection. Behind him he could see some of the Autobots. Sunstreaker, Tracks, Prowl, Jazz, mechs considered attractive by the base as a whole. They looked at him in pity and he was forced to compare himself to them. Short and dumpy, his coloring wasn’t even that pretty, why would even his spark mate want him?

He onlined with a start and sat up slowly wringing his servos. It was just a bad purge. Spark mates loved you no matter what. They loved you because of who you were not because of how you looked ascetically. His creator always told him that, and his creator had never lied to him.

Cosmos nodded to himself and settled back down slowly to try and recharge a bit longer. His spark mate would love him, he didn’t need to worry and he shouldn’t be jealous over a little thing like kissing.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Spark mate is like a soul mate)

052. Under the Influence -- Cosmos -- Rating PG-13

052. Under the Influence -- Cosmos -- Rating PG-13

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Cosmos knew he shouldn’t have. Jazz had been very over charged towards the end of the party when he came in and wasn’t in his right processor, but when Jazz had wrapped his arm around him and started whispering in his audio he had lost himself for a moment. He’d been a little overcharged himself of course, and that was how he ended up in this position, sitting in Jazz’s quarters in the dark.

He rested his head in his servos. He was such an idiot, his creator had always told him how important it was to wait. That Primus blessed those who waited until they found their spark mate.

He had almost tossed all of that away.

It had taken Jazz getting him flat on his back in his berth before he realized what was happening, realized what he was doing. He had pulled away despite Jazz’s half sparked protests. Jazz wasn’t thinking clearly. He had just had a huge fight with Prowl, everything about it was all messed up.

He stood slowly and made his way out of Jazz’s quarters, maybe they would both be lucky and Jazz would be too overcharged to remember what happened. He had promised Primus and his creator he would wait, he couldn’t throw that away because he was under the influence. No matter how nice it had felt. For a few moments before his processor had cleared, he had been able to pretend he was Jazz’s lover.

Under the influence or not, he would cherish those moments. It was moments like that that would hold him over until he found his spark mate.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

(I don’t know why Jazz came to mind, but he did.)

012. Fool -- Jazz, Cosmos -- Rating PG

012. Fool -- Jazz, Cosmos -- Rating PG

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was such an idiotic fool. Jazz put his head in his servos trying to remember exactly what had happened the last cycle. He remembered the fight with Prowl right before the party, he remembered getting overcharged, he remembered Cosmos.

Cosmos was such a sweet shy little mech. He had always wondered what he would be like in the berth, a thing Prowl did not approve of. He loved Prowl, but he wasn’t the kind of mech who easily stuck to one partner. He was doing his best, but lately that just wasn’t good enough for Prowl.

But back to what he remembered, he remembered talking to Cosmos. He remembered stumbling back to his quarters with the mech, remembered pushing him back on the berth and nuzzling him, servos clumsily mapping out the round frame. Primus he hadn’t!

He felt like pit had he taken advantage? He paused and thought back over the night again, no, no he remembered Cosmos pushing him away. He wasn’t sure that was better though.

What would little, happy-go-lucky Cosmos think of him now? He was such a fool he had to apologize.

--

Cosmos felt like an idiot when Jazz cornered him in the hallway even if he knew this was bound to happen. He had really been praying that Jazz just wouldn't remember the night before. That he could keep the entire thing to himself. Waiting patiently, he let Jazz speak his part before giving his version of a smile by turning up the corners of his optics in a happy manner. “It is alright Jazz I understand. We were both overcharged and there are no hard feelings.”

Jazz relaxed visibly and grinned, “Thanks man. Ya are awesome you know that? Thanks for understanding I didn’t mean anything by it. Excuse me now I have to go find Prowler and apologize to him too."

Cosmos nodded and slipped away into the background. He was such a fool, he knew Jazz didn’t mean anything by it that night. Logically he knew that night was a mistake that meant nothing. Somehow however, having Jazz tell him in person that it didn’t mean anything was so much worse than just knowing.

It was a mistake on both their parts. He was a fool for almost letting it happen, and he was a fool for feeling small and invisible when Jazz called it what it was. A fool's mistake.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(No I don’t think this will become a pairing. Jazz thinks a lot of mechs are attractive and enjoys interfacing...he and Prowl are fighting because of this.)