A Priori, A Posteriori

026. Goodness -- Inferno/Red Alert  -- Rating PG
Inferno jumped when he felt something touch his shoulder. “Goodness Red you gave me a fright!” He turned around expecting to find his lover only to frown when instead Bluestreak stood there shifting from ped to ped.

“I am really sorry to interrupt you Inferno, but I was passing the security center, I just got off duty you see and I wanted to stop by the recroom and grab a cube. Normally I go the other way around but I could hear some arguing by the medbay and thought it would just be better to take the long way around. Anyway I heard something so I peeked my head in, I know Red Alert doesn’t like it when we do that all the time but I was worried. So I peeked my head in and I think Red Alert was crying.” Bluestreak’s optics were concerned, “I think someone should go check on him. I would have, but I really don’t know him that well and I remembered you were nearby and I thought it would be better for you to go.”

Inferno cut Bluestreak off, “Thank you Blue. I will go find him.”

--

When he entered the security center Red Alert was sitting at the console giving tiny sobs. Red Alert’s horns were sparking lightly, so he knew he was glitching but this wasn’t Red’s normal glitch.

He made his way over and pulled his lover up and into his arms. “Talk to me Red. Don’t cry here alone.”

“There isn’t anything good anymore ‘ferno. Everywhere mechs are in danger of offlining,  we are on half rations, and Cybertron is dead. What is good that we have to look forward to ‘ferno? What good is left in our future?”

Inferno shook his head, “My poor Red. What brought this up? You are being silly.”

He shook his head burying it in Inferno’s chest. “I know, but I worry so much ‘ferno. I see everything that happens on base and during the battles. What hope do we have?”

Inferno tilted his head up and kissed his helm, being careful of the sparkling horns. “We have each other Red, that is all the hope we need. Goodness is what you make of it, we will create our own good, create our own path to happiness. Good always wins over evil Red. Once you are calm you will start seeing the good in things again.”

Red Alert shook, the sparks increasing, “I don’t deserve you ‘ferno. Can’t keep you safe! There could be spies everywhere!”

He held Red Alert close as he rambled and glitched. His Red had so much good in him. Other mechs couldn’t see it because of his glitch, but he knew the truth. Red Alert’s worry wasn’t caused by his glitch, his glitch was caused by his worry. “Hush my Red. The mechs here are good, no one here will hurt you or sell you for parts. There is so much good here Red, and I want to show it to you.”

060. Dinosaur -- Jolt, Ironhide -- Rating PG

He loved visiting Ironhide’s office when the mech wasn’t there. Looking at his old trophies was almost as good as good as looking at the old mech himself. Old, he didn’t like using that term. Yes Ironhide was old, but there had to be a better word for what he was.

He was about to leave when he froze hiding as a few human soldiers walked by.

“The guy is practically a dinosaur! I swear he is that old, and you know the bastard will never die,” the soldiers laughed and joked about the older commander not knowing that a certain blue mech was listening in.

He bit a lip, dinosaur. It had a nice ring to it, Ironhide was an old dinosaur of a mech. Strong, powerful, ancient, something you only found remnants of anymore.

--

Ironhide had been aware of his “stalker” for some time. At first it was kind of cute, the younger mech watching him practice, then trying out the techniques himself. The fragging annoying thing was the kid always ran away before he could offer help, and it was slagging annoying after a few weeks of feeling his stalker’s optics on him in the recroom.

This had to end, and one way or another he was going to end it.

--

Jolt winced as he was caught. The note was already of of his subspace, inches from Ironhide’s desk. He couldn’t take it back now. He stood frozen as Ironhide snatched it out of his servo. 

He hung his head, feeling so stupid as Ironhide powered on the data pad. It was a little valentines card with a picture of a dinosaur. When you pressed play the dinosaur would dance happily and say silly organic phrases.

Stupid Valentines day, stupid card, stupid Jolt.

“You are the mech that started the twins on that dinosaur crud,” Ironhide glared at the young mech. He didn’t appreciate being refured to as old thank you very much, “You’ve had your fun. Now that you are caught you going to  stop stalking me?”

Jolt nodded quickly deeply, deeply ashamed. He admired Ironhide so very much, the term had just slipped out around the twins. They had used it in the wrong way and now Ironhide hated him. “I  am sorry, Sir.”

Ironhide nodded, “Then I will forget about you breaking into my office. Dismissed.”

He turned to leave quickly, he wasn’t going to let his crush see him cry. Only mechlets and sparklings cried. He was a soldier, a soldier whose crush thought he hated him and was making fun of him.

Ironhide waited until the mech had one ped out the door, “And Jolt, 0500 hours, meet me on the training ground,” he smirked. “We’ll see if this old dinosaur can still teach you a few things.”

As Jolt watched he set the card on his shelf with his other trophies.

Jolt’s spark swelled, “Yes sir! 0500, Sir!”

Ironhide chuckled as the kid left. Dinosaur huh, well maybe Jolt could call him that, the twins were still slagged when he got a hold of them though. 

021.Treat -- Cosmos, Twins, Prowl, Skyfire, unknown -- Rating PG
Not many mechs knew it, but he really loved sweets. He loved them so much he had taught himself to make them. He knew exactly what additives and what temperatures to mix the energon with and at to get the very best treats.

Cosmos hummed as he mixed the energon and crystals smiling as it changed colors. He poured it out slowly into small cube molds. When it set it would create gelled candy treats. He would keep some for himself, but the rest he was planning on giving to Blaster for his cassettes.

He hummed happily, a catchy tune he had picked up on his last orbit and froze when he suddenly felt a presence behind him. He spun around, holding the mixing cube to his chest in shock.

Sunstreaker stared down at  the smaller bot, “What are you doing.”

Cosmos shrunk down, the front liner wasn’t know as being very stable. “Making energon sweets.”

The yellow mech reached past him and grabbed one taking a sip from the tiny cube. “Not half bad,” he admitted reluctantly. He walked around the table and grabbed several cubes before Cosmos could protest. “Thanks for these.”

Cosmos watched helplessly as Sunstreaker walked away with half his treats. He looked down once the front-liner was out of sight, doing a count of what he had left. He would have just enough to give to the cassettes if he was careful with it.

He sighed, at least it wasn’t going to waste.

--


The next time he made energon treats he made sure to make more, just incase someone came by while he was making them.

He looked up when the door opened and both Sunstreaker and his twin walked in. They didn’t even say anything to him as they both grabbed one of the treat cubes. He made a small sound of protest and received a glare before the twins tasted the cubes.

Sideswipe purred, “You are right Sunny these are pretty good.”

Sunstreaker growled, “Don’t call me that you slagger. So what do you say?”

The red twin moved forward and Cosmos took a step back, before he knew it he found himself trapped between the twins. Sideswipe grinned, “Yes, let’s keep him.”

Cosmos squeaked as he was picked up and tossed over Sunstreaker’s shoulder, he squirmed but his round frame made it hard to struggle.  While Sunstreaker carried him Sideswipe grabbed the rest of the treat cubes.

“Put me down!” Yelled Cosmos after they had already gotten him into the hallway. He had no idea what these mechs were planning and he didn’t like it! “Put me down this instant!”

Sunstreaker chuckled, “Don’t worry, we will take good care of you.”

They came around the corner and came to an abrupt stop. He couldn’t see what was happening but he heard Sideswipe’s nervous tone, “Hey, hey Prowl. We were just heading back to our quarters.”

“Put him down.” Cosmos was dropped quickly, but Sunstreaker kept a grip on his arm.

Sunstreaker scoffed, “What is your problem Prowl? We are just picking ourselves up a mixer. It isn’t like we are going to hurt him, just keep him in our quarters.”

Sideswipe chimed in, “Yeah he can’t make us treats all the time if he’s hurt.”

Prowl glared, “Did you agree to this Cosmos.”

Cosmos shifted, “Not really. I was just making some treats for Blaster’s cassettes and myself.” He trembled under Sunstreaker’s glare, “but, but if they had asked I would make them some treats as well.”

Prowl nodded, “Let him go Sunstreaker.”

The golden yellow mech was reluctant to let him go, but eventually did so. “Fine.”

The twins stalked away and Prowl stepped forward placing a servo on Cosmos’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about them, they are annoying glitched fraggers with the social tact of sparklings, but I don’t think they meant you harm.”

Cosmos shifted, “right.” He looked around and noticed they weren’t in the ark anymore. “When did we get here?”

“Get where?” Asked Skyfire, “come on Cosmos, race you to the moon!”

They both transformed and raced happily away. 

Faster and faster they raced and when Cosmos landed he turned around and frowned. Skyfire wan’t there. Before he could call out servos wrapped around him and he was pulled into a comforting hug. Prayers to Primus were whispered in his audios and he sighed happily.

--

He awoke with a start, panicking when he realized he had fallen into recharge while waiting for some of his energon sweets to set. He quickly cleaned up, stacking the treat cubes on a tray he carried them towards Blaster’s room.

In the hallway he passed the twins who smirked at him as he passed. He froze for a moment and then shook the thought off.

He loved treats, but they always gave him the strangest recharge dreams.

99. Meeting -- Cosmos, Soundwave -- Rating PG


It was during a battle that they met. Cosmos was hunkered down behind a rock face for cover, praying back up would arrive in time. His patrol had accidentally stumbled across a Decepticon mining group and now they were all pinned. He slid around the side of the rock face, hoping to get a chance to get airborne or to circle back to his teammates. Making his way around a corner he turned only to be stopped suddenly by a chest-plate, ablue chest-plate, with a glaring purple Decepticon logo on it.

Cosmos cried out only to be struck and knocked to the ground. He trembled as a concussion blaster was pointed to his helm. He offlined his optics, not wanting to watch his own death. He wasn't a fighter, he was just a mech doing what he could. He waited for his death.

He felt a knee come to press into his chest holding him down, and he onlined his optics in shock. The blaster was still pointed at his head, but the Decepticon had grabbed his right servo, the servo that still had traces of the temporary paint on it.

Breaking out of his shock Cosmos attempted to jerk his servo away and escape.

The blaster whirred as it cycled on and Cosmos froze.

"Demand; explanation."

That could be taken in many ways, and for a moment Cosmos was at a loss until he realized Soundwave still had a hard grip on his painted servo.

"Last night cycle was the twelfth orn. I preformed the corresponding ritual, to the best of my abilities." His head felt a little fuzzy and he panicked at the thought that Soundwave might be reading his mind.

Soundwave's face was a blank mask, "Statement; belief that Primus sends visions to torment you, Incorrect. Statement; Primus loves all his children. Loves most of all those that do his will."

Cosmos trembled, to hear his innermost fears spoken and then cast aside was, it was a powerful feeling. "Those that do his will?"

"Statement; those that hold true to the covenant, those that work to do the bidding of Primus, those that work towards the true future of Cybertron." The grip on his servo tightened, "Soundwave; not aware Autobots remembered the rituals." 

Cosmos whimpered as his servo was crushed, "My creator taught me. She taught me to light the lamps and drink the energon." This was so strange, what did Soundwave want? Why talk to him if he was just going to offline him? If he could just hack his processor and gain all the information he wanted.

Soundwave seemed to suddenly tense, and then releasing Cosmos's servo he reared back and struck him across the helm. Cosmos knew no more.


Soundwave stood quickly glancing down at the Autobot. Megatron had commed him and if he didn't go soon he risked his leader's wrath. Still, he never thought he would see an Autobot that knew the old ways, and to think that this mech dreamed the Primus induced dreams.

He raised his blaster pointing it at the mech's spark ready to take the shot.

Megatron commed again, demanding his presence on the battle field.

He lowered the blaster and left to respond to Megatron's call, the Autobot's mental impression still on his processor.

019. Countdown-- Cosmos, Jazz, Skyfire, Wheeljack -- Rating PG


Ten Times that they shared shy, friendly smiles across the recroom. One curious, and the other lonely but smiling anyway. Sometimes Cosmos wished he had a chance to get to know Jazz better.


Nine Days they spent together on a mission to monitor the Decepticons that went normally, and nine days that they spent in the Decepticon brig. Cosmos didn’t like to think about those days. Watching the other be hurt while he was ignored in a tiny cell. He was a nobody to the Decepticons, a nobody that couldn’t even protect his teammate.


Eight Months that passed before Cosmos got a chance to speak to Jazz alone and attempt to apologize. Jazz had just shaken his head and patted Cosmos on the head with a smile.

“Don’t worry about it mechlet,” Jazz smiled optics bright. “It is in the past and Ratchet patched me up good.”

Cosmos struggled to smile back with his optics, “If you say so. But I would like you to know I am sorry.”

Jazz walked away with a wave, “And I said don’t worry about it. Now if you will excuse me I have me a date with Prowl.”


Seven Weeks after that, Cosmos was finally feeling over the entire incident even if he couldn’t look Jazz in the optics still.

He was finally feeling able to talk to others in the Recroom again. He laughed as he sat beside Skyfire in the recroom. The shuttle was always very kind, he didn’t understand why the others mistrusted him.


Six Days after he got overcharged and kissed the large flyer he was still hiding. Skyfire had pushed him away so fast afterwards, he knew he offended the mech.


Five Klicks into his surveillance mission, he learned why. Skyfire was still seeing his old lover. He wouldn’t report them, it seemed wrong to do so, but at least he knew now it wasn’t just because it was him. The thoughts distracted him and he crashed. The injury was minor but he would still have to visit the medbay.


Four Hours of watching Wheeljack, Ratchet, and Perceptor working together in the medbay, laughing and joking, and all he wanted to do was curl up and recharge back in his quarters. Sometimes he thought Wheeljack was a bit like himself, but seeing him at work made him realize he had been wrong.


Three Things had always kept him going in the past, his belief in the Autobot cause, his belief in Primus, and the words of his creator. His creator had always told him there was a mech or femme out there for everyone. Maybe it was time to face the fact that if his mech had existed at all they were probably long offline now.


Two Tears fell from his optics at that thought. He was going to be alone forever. His spark mate didn’t exist, no one would ever really love him. His spark burned as if someone was twisting an energy blade inside it.


One Sob emerged from his vocalizer before he muted himself. No one loved him, so why would anyone care about his pain. He comforted himself with the fact he was due to have a few months in space soon. Up there he could get this out of his system. The only thing worse than a mech who was always going to be alone, always the tag along never the focus, was a mech who couldn’t accept that and be happy anyway. He’d spend his time learning to be happy again in a world where his current lot in life was as good as it could get.


Zero, nothing. Not even dancing through a meteor shower could make him feel happy again.

012. Fool -- Jazz, Cosmos -- Rating PG


He was such an idiotic fool. Jazz put his head in his servos trying to remember exactly what had happened the last cycle. He remembered the fight with Prowl right before the party, he remembered getting overcharged, he remembered Cosmos.

Cosmos was such a sweet shy little mech. He had always wondered what he would be like in the berth, a thing Prowl did not approve of. He loved Prowl, but he wasn’t the kind of mech who easily stuck to one partner. He was doing his best, but lately that just wasn’t good enough for Prowl.

But back to what he remembered, he remembered talking to Cosmos. He remembered stumbling back to his quarters with the mech, remembered pushing him back on the berth and nuzzling him, servos clumsily mapping out the round frame. Primus he hadn’t!

He felt like pit had he taken advantage? He paused and thought back over the night again, no, no he remembered Cosmos pushing him away. He wasn’t sure that was better though.

What would little, happy-go-lucky Cosmos think of him now? He was such a fool he had to apologize.

--

Cosmos felt like an idiot when Jazz cornered him in the hallway even if he knew this was bound to happen. He had really been praying that Jazz just wouldn't remember the night before. That he could keep the entire thing to himself. Waiting patiently, he let Jazz speak his part before giving his version of a smile by turning up the corners of his optics in a happy manner. “It is alright Jazz I understand. We were both overcharged and there are no hard feelings.”

Jazz relaxed visibly and grinned, “Thanks man. Ya are awesome you know that? Thanks for understanding I didn’t mean anything by it. Excuse me now I have to go find Prowler and apologize to him too."

Cosmos nodded and slipped away into the background. He was such a fool, he knew Jazz didn’t mean anything by it that night. Logically he knew that night was a mistake that meant nothing. Somehow however, having Jazz tell him in person that it didn’t mean anything was so much worse than just knowing.

It was a mistake on both their parts. He was a fool for almost letting it happen, and he was a fool for feeling small and invisible when Jazz called it what it was. A fool's mistake.

032. Home --  Cosmos -- Rating PG

Cosmos continued his slow circling, monitoring the many channels and signals the permeated the airwaves. He often wondered about human sayings, trying to work out their meaning and translate them into some human form. His latest one was a rather old saying.

Home is where the heart is. A deceptively simple phrase that could be seen in many places in human culture, often as a source of comfort.

For Cybetronians he supposed a proper translation would be “home is where the spark is,” but what did that mean? The more he thought about it, the more he wasn’t sure he knew.

Not to say he didn’t know what the phrase was supposed to mean.  He knew it was supposed to mean that home was with the ones you loved. That as long as you were among people who loved you, you were home.

Cosmos took a moment away from his thinking to monitor a suspicious signal before determining that it was merely a glitch in the system. What did it mean? No, not mean, what did it feel like? What did it feel like to have a home?

If the saying proved true, then he had never had a home.  He’d never lived in a place where he felt loved, not that he remembered.

Sure he felt that the members--some members--of his faction cared for him, some of the time. But he wasn’t at home on the Ark. He spent to much time away from it to feel at home.

As he whirled aimlessly above the earth he tried to push the entire idea from his mind. Tried to satisfy himself with the idea that surly, one day, he would have a place his spark could call home, and that thought made him smile.