A Priori, A Posteriori

026. Goodness -- Inferno/Red Alert  -- Rating PG
Inferno jumped when he felt something touch his shoulder. “Goodness Red you gave me a fright!” He turned around expecting to find his lover only to frown when instead Bluestreak stood there shifting from ped to ped.

“I am really sorry to interrupt you Inferno, but I was passing the security center, I just got off duty you see and I wanted to stop by the recroom and grab a cube. Normally I go the other way around but I could hear some arguing by the medbay and thought it would just be better to take the long way around. Anyway I heard something so I peeked my head in, I know Red Alert doesn’t like it when we do that all the time but I was worried. So I peeked my head in and I think Red Alert was crying.” Bluestreak’s optics were concerned, “I think someone should go check on him. I would have, but I really don’t know him that well and I remembered you were nearby and I thought it would be better for you to go.”

Inferno cut Bluestreak off, “Thank you Blue. I will go find him.”

--

When he entered the security center Red Alert was sitting at the console giving tiny sobs. Red Alert’s horns were sparking lightly, so he knew he was glitching but this wasn’t Red’s normal glitch.

He made his way over and pulled his lover up and into his arms. “Talk to me Red. Don’t cry here alone.”

“There isn’t anything good anymore ‘ferno. Everywhere mechs are in danger of offlining,  we are on half rations, and Cybertron is dead. What is good that we have to look forward to ‘ferno? What good is left in our future?”

Inferno shook his head, “My poor Red. What brought this up? You are being silly.”

He shook his head burying it in Inferno’s chest. “I know, but I worry so much ‘ferno. I see everything that happens on base and during the battles. What hope do we have?”

Inferno tilted his head up and kissed his helm, being careful of the sparkling horns. “We have each other Red, that is all the hope we need. Goodness is what you make of it, we will create our own good, create our own path to happiness. Good always wins over evil Red. Once you are calm you will start seeing the good in things again.”

Red Alert shook, the sparks increasing, “I don’t deserve you ‘ferno. Can’t keep you safe! There could be spies everywhere!”

He held Red Alert close as he rambled and glitched. His Red had so much good in him. Other mechs couldn’t see it because of his glitch, but he knew the truth. Red Alert’s worry wasn’t caused by his glitch, his glitch was caused by his worry. “Hush my Red. The mechs here are good, no one here will hurt you or sell you for parts. There is so much good here Red, and I want to show it to you.”

004. Medic -- Ratchet, Jazz  -- Rating PG

He was their medic, infallible, untouchable, their source of comfort. It shook the entire crew to the spark to see him lain out in his own medbay attached to a spark monitor.

They should have protected him better. They should have kept him back, not allowing him to rush to the front lines. But their medic had just smiled and told them it was his job.

They should have insisted he was better armed. They should have pressed the blaster back into his servos. They shouldn’t have listened when he smiled and said he wouldn’t know what to do with a blaster. When he said he trusted them to have his back.

They should have kept an optic on the seekers, should have know it was a false retreat.

They had left their medic open to attack, his servos deep in another’s systems. The blast had been millimeters from his spark chamber.

He was supposed to be their medic--infallible, untouchable--and it shook them to the spark to realize he was as mortal as they were. Their medic was just another mech, a mech they should have appreciated more.

---

When Ratchet onlined he frowned lightly at the mechs crowding his medbay. He thought about yelling, telling them they were just making it harder for First Aid, but couldn’t bring himself to do so. His friends had just been reminded he too could be taken from them--he himself had been reminded of his own mortality.

He lay back down and allowed himself to be comforted by the sound of the spark monitor and the feeling of the other’s EM fields.

As he slipped into recharge he felt Jazz squeeze his servo lightly, “You’re our medic. We aren’t going to risk you again.”

But he was their medic, it was his job to put himself in danger to safe them, and so they would.  And they all knew it.

019. Countdown-- Cosmos, Jazz, Skyfire, Wheeljack -- Rating PG


Ten Times that they shared shy, friendly smiles across the recroom. One curious, and the other lonely but smiling anyway. Sometimes Cosmos wished he had a chance to get to know Jazz better.


Nine Days they spent together on a mission to monitor the Decepticons that went normally, and nine days that they spent in the Decepticon brig. Cosmos didn’t like to think about those days. Watching the other be hurt while he was ignored in a tiny cell. He was a nobody to the Decepticons, a nobody that couldn’t even protect his teammate.


Eight Months that passed before Cosmos got a chance to speak to Jazz alone and attempt to apologize. Jazz had just shaken his head and patted Cosmos on the head with a smile.

“Don’t worry about it mechlet,” Jazz smiled optics bright. “It is in the past and Ratchet patched me up good.”

Cosmos struggled to smile back with his optics, “If you say so. But I would like you to know I am sorry.”

Jazz walked away with a wave, “And I said don’t worry about it. Now if you will excuse me I have me a date with Prowl.”


Seven Weeks after that, Cosmos was finally feeling over the entire incident even if he couldn’t look Jazz in the optics still.

He was finally feeling able to talk to others in the Recroom again. He laughed as he sat beside Skyfire in the recroom. The shuttle was always very kind, he didn’t understand why the others mistrusted him.


Six Days after he got overcharged and kissed the large flyer he was still hiding. Skyfire had pushed him away so fast afterwards, he knew he offended the mech.


Five Klicks into his surveillance mission, he learned why. Skyfire was still seeing his old lover. He wouldn’t report them, it seemed wrong to do so, but at least he knew now it wasn’t just because it was him. The thoughts distracted him and he crashed. The injury was minor but he would still have to visit the medbay.


Four Hours of watching Wheeljack, Ratchet, and Perceptor working together in the medbay, laughing and joking, and all he wanted to do was curl up and recharge back in his quarters. Sometimes he thought Wheeljack was a bit like himself, but seeing him at work made him realize he had been wrong.


Three Things had always kept him going in the past, his belief in the Autobot cause, his belief in Primus, and the words of his creator. His creator had always told him there was a mech or femme out there for everyone. Maybe it was time to face the fact that if his mech had existed at all they were probably long offline now.


Two Tears fell from his optics at that thought. He was going to be alone forever. His spark mate didn’t exist, no one would ever really love him. His spark burned as if someone was twisting an energy blade inside it.


One Sob emerged from his vocalizer before he muted himself. No one loved him, so why would anyone care about his pain. He comforted himself with the fact he was due to have a few months in space soon. Up there he could get this out of his system. The only thing worse than a mech who was always going to be alone, always the tag along never the focus, was a mech who couldn’t accept that and be happy anyway. He’d spend his time learning to be happy again in a world where his current lot in life was as good as it could get.


Zero, nothing. Not even dancing through a meteor shower could make him feel happy again.

050. Moonlight-- Cosmos, Bluestreak, Sunstreaker -- Rating PG

Cosmos hummed happily to himself as he danced through the air. Moonlight guided his way casting everything in shades of black and gray. He twirled and spun and smiled when the meter shower started dancing in and out between the flashes.

Flaring his own lights he laughed wildly going faster, and faster. Under the moonlight he was free!

Down below a group of Autobots on patrol looked up with a smile, pausing to watch the saucer dance.

--

“Pretty,” whispered Bluestreak. “I wonder if he knows we are watching, I mean if he didn’t know that would be a little rude for us to jut watch him, but I don’t want to interrupt him you know? Because that would be rude too and might throw him off and I wouldn’t want to do that. He spends so much time in space I don’t think he gets much free time, and wow did you see that!”

Sunstreaker growled, “Shut up Blue. Just watch and be quite.” It had been a long time since he wished so hard for a brush and canvas. He wanted to capture the light dancing through the night sky.

Bluestreak winched but fell silent for a spell. He couldn’t stay silent for long though, “Cosmos looks different in the moonlight. Kind of happy sad. He looks kind of happy sad  normally, but the moonlight really brings it out.”

Sunstreaker sighed and transformed, “Whatever Blue let’s just finish this patrol.” That wasn’t exactly something he wanted to dwell on.

--

Cosmos stopped his dance once the last of the shooting stars had fallen, and hovered lazily in the sky before he shot upwards to return to orbit.

 He loved dancing in the moonlight, it made everything a shade of gray and always made him feel calm.

052. Under the Influence -- Cosmos -- Rating PG-13


Cosmos knew he shouldn’t have. Jazz had been very over charged towards the end of the party when he came in and wasn’t in his right processor, but when Jazz had wrapped his arm around him and started whispering in his audio he had lost himself for a moment. He’d been a little overcharged himself of course, and that was how he ended up in this position, sitting in Jazz’s quarters in the dark.

He rested his head in his servos. He was such an idiot, his creator had always told him how important it was to wait. That Primus blessed those who waited until they found their spark mate.

He had almost tossed all of that away.

It had taken Jazz getting him flat on his back in his berth before he realized what was happening, realized what he was doing. He had pulled away despite Jazz’s half sparked protests. Jazz wasn’t thinking clearly. He had just had a huge fight with Prowl, everything about it was all messed up.

He stood slowly and made his way out of Jazz’s quarters, maybe they would both be lucky and Jazz would be too overcharged to remember what happened. He had promised Primus and his creator he would wait, he couldn’t throw that away because he was under the influence. No matter how nice it had felt. For a few moments before his processor had cleared, he had been able to pretend he was Jazz’s lover.

Under the influence or not, he would cherish those moments. It was moments like that that would hold him over until he found his spark mate.

089. White Noise -- Cosmos -- Rating PG

Cosmos found quickly how much he enjoyed Earth music, it was something to break up the constant white noise of the empty radio signals.  He enjoyed the white noise as well of course. After so long working monitoring channels he found he couldn’t recharge without listening to white noise over his comm. From talking with Jazz he found many mechs and humans were like that, they found the sound relaxing.

White noise, background sound.

He supposed he was like white noise in a way, in the background and not often heard. He was ok with that though--most of the time as he did have his depressed and dark days. Days when he wondered why he came out of recharge at all, times when he longed for contact with someone, anyone.

Soon enough though, there would be a meter shower to dance through or a truck traveling a lonely highway at night that he couldn’t resist and he would start feeling better again.

White noise helped other relax, and if the was white noise then he was helping others. By monitoring signals and reporting his findings he was keeping the others safe so they could relax.

Most days he really liked being like white noise, and the days that he didn’t, he didn’t like to think about anyway.

022. Odds and Ends -- Cosmos -- Rating PG

(First attempt at Cosmos...playing with personality and trying to develop his character.)


Cosmos didn’t own many things. Just a small box of odds and ends; colorful crystal samples from places he had crash landed, degraded holo captures of the places he had been, a few bent pieces of scrap metal. All things he could hold in his servo and keep on him at all times.

He had to be able to keep everything he owned on him, being in space so often. Circling the Earth, or whatever other planet he was surveying. Most of the time that didn’t bother him, being in space that is. Sometimes it was soothing and he enjoyed talking to himself, acting out scenes in his head that others would make fun of it they saw him doing it--so really it was better he was all alone in space. 

Every item in his little box had a meaning and a purpose behind it, each piece reminded him of a story. Of a time, good or bad, that he had spent with another mech. It was a small box.

Someone, a mech whose designation he no longer remembered, had called it junk once, a box of junk. It was all he owned though, the things that told the story of his life.

Sometimes cycling earth alone, he wondered if that meant something. That the only record that would remain of him should he suddenly offline wouldn’t live in any real memories held by his comrades, but in a box of odds and ends. A box of junk.

055. Cuddle --Wheeljack/Red Alert -- Rating PG-13

Wheeljack sighed as he sat in the security room with  Red Alert. “Did you have to lock down the base?”

Red Alert cuddled closer to Wheeljack. “Wanted time with you.”

Wheeljack rolled his optics, “Obsessed Stalker.” He didn’t pull away though. Sure Red Alert’s watching was creepy, but in another light it was also very sweet. The security officer had taken great care to make sure he had everything he needed when he needed it.

Red Alert frowned, "Am I really that bad?"

Wheeljack sighed and nuzzled Red Alert. "No, but the cameras in my quarters have to go. I am thankful you stopped watching me in the washracks," no need to mention that Red Alert had been doing that illegally, "but I want them out of my quarters as well."

Red Alert's frown turned into a pout. "But I like watching you recharge. It lets me know you are safe."

Wheeljack frowned, "Well it is creepy." He kissed Red Alert’s forehead, “Sweet, endearing, but creepy.”

Red Alert cooed happily and hugged Wheeljack tighter. “If you moved in to my quarters I wouldn’t have to worry about if you were safe or not.

Wheeljack frowned, “Where are your quarters?” 

Red Alert spun the chair and pointed to the back of the security center where there was a single door. “Through there. I would know you were totally safe there.”

He tilted his head, “What? That isn’t on  the design plans.”

“Ratchet had it put in so I would recharge more often.” Red Alert looked very hopeful cuddling the smaller mech closer. “Please?”

He cuddled back with a sigh, there was no denying Red Alert. “I will try for a while.”

094. Touch -- Weeljack, Red Alert -- Rating PG


Wheeljack didn’t think twice about it. He was a friendly mech and Red Alert had looked so stressed out during the meeting. On his way out he smiled and patted Red Alert on the back. “Relax Red, we all know you want what is best for us.”

Then he had left, not realizing what his touch had triggered.

--                                                                                                                                       --

Red Alert barely made it back to the security center. Wheeljack, he, he had been so nice. That touch had been the first time he had been touched outside the medbay in a long time. His shoulder still felt warm where the scientist’s servo had rested on it.

He pulled up several security feeds writing a subroutine to make sure one of the monitors was tracking Wheeljack at all times. Wheeljack was so kind, and alone! Wheeljack didn’t have anyone special. Well he would watch out for Wheeljack, everyone deserved someone special after all.

He would need to add a few more cameras to Wheeljack’s lab soon, security precautions.  He wouldn’t want the scientist to be hurt when he was so important to the Ark’s crew.

He touched the place where Wheeljack’s servo had rested and wondered how Wheeljack would react to his touch.

045. Together -- Unknown/unknown -- Rating PG
When the war began he hadn’t cared. He had been newly in love, and completely devoted to his lover. He would have done anything for them. He supported his lover when he said he wanted to join the war. What else could he do? He didn’t want to lose the mech he loved.
He joined the Decepticons because of his lover. He hadn’t totally agreed with their policies, with their tactics, but if he didn’t join they would be separated.

He couldn’t imagine life without his lover. He couldn’t imagine a future for himself without his lover in it. He didn’t wan to have to.

So he joined the Decepticons, and soon he and his lover were moving up the ranks.


He loved his lover, loved him so much, and now he was a sparkling killer. Sparkling blood was on his servos, and he didn’t even have a lover to show for it. He approached the acid river with measured steps. 


“I’ll be there soon lover,” He whispered. He took one more step into open air, a falling angel that made no attempt to stop it's fall. 

He remembered his lover's words, and how they had all been lies.